If it’s not your door, it won’t open

No matter how hard you try…. if it’s not your door, it won’t open.

But it’s not always easy to take the hint and walk away. Sometimes we keep on trying and this is when it becomes very easy to take the wrong path.

Many of the decisions I make are based on feeling. I pay much more attention to how my ‘gut’ feels than what my head may be telling me.

This might sound irrational to some… and I must admit, because of this, I don’t always have a plan… but it is something that works for me. I have developed a strong faith in knowing that if something feels right, then that is the path I need to follow… and rarely am I disappointed.

If something is meant to be, the door should open easily and walking through it will make sense. If not, the door will remain closed, no matter how hard you try to knock and nudge it open.

I believe there are clear signs to guide you on your path if you take the time to notice them. To do this, however, you have to feel that it is right. Your head (your ego) is not always reliable. That’s because it’s job is to tell you why you should not do something, why you should be fearful, why you are not worthy. The ego wants power over you and by living in your mind, you are controlled by your thoughts; thoughts which are based on past events, conditioning, your environment, and social expectations.

Let me give you one example of the many that have happened to me:

In 2015, at the conclusion of a fund raising event I was hosting, I formally met Amanda Liddell, who is now our partner in Project Overseas. It was the first time I heard about the wonderful work Amanda was doing in Cambodia. I made a comment to her that night. It was a truthful comment but could easily have been a throwaway line. I said to her “….one day, I would love to travel with you to Cambodia to see first-hand what you are doing”. I didn’t think much more of it until a few years later.

Planning commenced for our next major event in 2017, and like every event, I trusted the process of finding the appropriate charity to support. Having been in this situation many times before, I just knew the one that needed our help would present itself.

We had a desire to expand our charity work overseas. We knew what type of work we wanted to do but we did not know where. I researched a few different charity groups, and then by chance, was introduced to a not-for-profit organisation run by a group of young people. They were doing great work in Vanuatu and were about to embark on some projects in the Philippines.

Our CEO and I attended a meeting with the group and despite having similar values, after a two-hour conversation, it became apparent that despite our best efforts, we were not making progress. My precise words were “we have been knocking on this door for the past two hours and it’s not opening. I think it’s time we admit this and move on.” That was when we resolved to end the conversation, politely of course.

I went home but did not lose faith. I immediately went back to the ‘drawing board’. Determined to find a solution, I recalled having seen Amanda on Instagram in Cambodia. I had no idea where she was and which communities she was working in. After reading some of her previous posts, I did some research on the locations she was tagging in them. Low and behold, the community she was working in was very similar to what had peaked our interest in the Philippines.

I contacted Amanda immediately and within a few weeks, I had airline tickets and everything was booked for our team to travel to Cambodia.

This was the door that we were meant to knock on. How do I know this? Because everything about it flowed easily and naturally and that door just opened without too much effort. Everything about it felt right.

And I knew we were on a winner when I first saw the list of ‘dream projects’ for the Oudong community, and on the top of that list was a ‘chicken farm’. If that wasn’t a clear sign, I don’t know what would be.

To look back now, after two trips to Cambodia and a whole host of projects, including the chicken farm, well underway, it feels almost surreal and extremely rewarding.

The moral of the story: stay in the present, be aware of the signs around you, be flexible and loosen your control, go with the flow and trust in the feelings that come from deep within your soul (it feels like it’s coming from your gut but it is actually your soul).

It takes courage, faith and a lot of practice but one thing I can promise is that the results are definitely worth it.

Following the clues that are laid out for you on your path, might just lead you to your purpose; something we all have, and spend a lot of time looking for.