The Ripple Effect

There is a famous quote by Mother Teresa which I refer to often…

“I alone cannot change the world but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples.”

Whatever form the difference we can make comes in, then that’s what we should do. None of us can pretend to have the power to change the world on our own; it is far too big and complicated for that. But, if each of us made small kind gestures, and they don’t have to be philanthropic or financial, then the effect of this has the potential to spread like a virus.

We are quick to spread rumours, negative comments, or dramatic events but what if, instead, we went out of our way to do something positive; smile at someone for no reason or carry out a kind gesture.

If we all aimed to do this, just a little bit, don’t you think our actions could potentially change the world?

It is very easy to think that it wouldn’t matter what we did, it wouldn’t change anything. What is the point? It is easier to leave it to others to do.

Just before my last trip to Cambodia, someone said to me: “you are lucky you are in a position to do charity work, I can’t, so I do it with my heart.” Whilst I pass no judgement on who can and who can’t, that comment made me look at things from her perspective. Her perception was that I am in a financial position where I can, and she is not, therefore it was ok for her to do nothing. I had never thought of it like that, nor did I stop to consider how people viewed my situation.

I was tempted, at first, to justify myself but rather chose to let it go. It is not up to me to control what other people think. I know that I am no more financially able than the next person, despite what others may think. Besides, apart from funding my own travel costs, the funds we allocate to projects are separate and do not belong to me. They are the result of monies raised from fundraising events and are very much a collective effort of all those who support these initiatives. I have the fortunate responsibility of determining where the funds should be applied and where they will be most effective.

Knowing I can only make a small difference is enough for me to continue to do what I am doing. I am rewarded by the warm welcomes, the smiles and the gratitude that is shown to me. The rewards I receive from doing something for someone without expectation far outweighs any monetary compensation that I could ever receive.

The situation in the dump site area of Steng Meanchey in Phnom Penh is the perfect example of a problem which is so big and so complex that it will take more than a generation to turn around. We are only small fish in this rather big sea filled with sweet, beautiful creatures trying to survive and large sharks looking to pounce and take advantage of the widespread desperation and vicious cycle of poverty. But to do nothing at all because we think we are small is not an option, especially once you have seen it for yourself.

One of our initiatives in this area is a pilot program where five children who did not previously have access to education because their families were so poor, are now being sent to school. Whilst this may sound easy, it is important to understand the barriers which prevent them from going to school in the first place. We have identified sixty children within this five kilometre radius who should be in school but are not.

Why are they not in school?

The answers may shock you.

Many families cannot afford $10 to buy a uniform. In Phnom Penh, you cannot attend school if you do not have a uniform. Furthermore, if poor families send their children to school they will forego the potential income that this small child can earn for the family as labour….and I am afraid that there are many more reasons which are too grim to mention here. So, apart from paying the costs of uniforms and some basic writing materials, the real key is to support the family as an incentive to send their children to school rather than to send them out to work.

So whilst our program is currently focussing on these five children, we are strong believers of the ‘ripple effect’. Rather than looking at the fact that we are ONLY helping five children, we are looking at it in terms of it being five MORE than there were before. Our impact may be small at the moment but the flow on effects are far more wide reaching, and we can’t lose our focus on that.

While we were in Northern Laos, something very symbolic happened. It was such a simple thing but it got me thinking, once again, about the power of the ripple effect and ‘paying it forward’ (inspiration for another book perhaps?).

Huay Xai is a quaint little city; you could easily mistake it for something out of an old Western movie. The architecture is colourful and very interesting. There is one main street which looks like something out of Disneyland. The interiors of the buildings feature a lot of dark, carved timber; our hotel resembling something from ‘Gone with the Wind’.

On our last night there, we finished our lovely dinner at one of the local ‘diners’ and started to make our way back to our hotel. It was relatively late on a balmy evening…but not late enough for it to be a ghost town.

But a ghost town it was; so much so that we walked in the middle of the road with no fear at all of oncoming traffic. We tried to find a tuk tuk but failed after we decided to refuse a ride from someone trying to ridiculously inflate the price. So we commenced our walk of roughly 5km to our hotel.

We were three quarters of the way there when a pick-up truck approached us. The only male of our group stopped the driver and asked if he would be kind enough to give us a lift. The little old man, with the cute little hat, was only too happy to oblige. Whilst the rest of our crew climbed up in the back on top of the hay bales, I climbed into the cabin alongside the driver. We tried to communicate as best we could, which wasn’t too difficult because kindness is a universal language.

The driver had such kind eyes and looked to be a really humble guy. I imagined he was possibly on his way home after a hard day of work, doing his best to provide for his family. I imagined he had a wife at home with a large number of kids. It is likely that they had already had their dinner and were tucked up in bed… but this guy, well, he was yet to eat anything because that was not his priority. In a few days it would be the New Year and he was probably looking forward to spending some quality time with the people he loved. I imagined he lived in a community with strong ties to one another, and who protected their young ones to the same extent as they respected the elderly.

I was humbled by the kindness in the eyes of this complete stranger and his gentle, quiet demeanour. He had stopped to pick up a group of ‘white people’ without any fear or expectation.

Arriving safely at our hotel, I opened my purse and took out a note of $50,000 kip. This would have been more than the cost of a tuk tuk and less than the amount we would have been potentially ripped off by. I handed the note to the driver who looked at me hesitantly. He gestured to me that he could not accept the note. I made sure he took it and wished him a happy new year. He smiled graciously and it warmed my heart. I just knew it would be put to good use.

And this is what I mean by paying it forward. That note, equivalent to less than $10 would not impact my life at all, but would certainly impact his. His kindness was rewarded and his choice to stop and pick us up may have made some difference to the kind of new year celebration his family could have. But most importantly, not only did I give to him but there was a genuine exchange from which we all benefited.

I imagined that note passing from person, to person, place to place, and making a positive difference to everyone it encountered along the way. Imagine all the lives one note could touch and you would never know the chain of events that could be set off by deciding to make one kind gesture for which you expect nothing in return.

Equally, when I was in the slums in Cambodia, I dropped some money while I was getting something out of my pockets. It would have been around $US20. This would have been quite a windfall for anyone who would have found it amongst the rubble. I was so angry with myself for being so careless but hey, it happened.

All I could hope for was that someone who really needed it picked it up and elected also to ‘pay it forward’.