Time to take it 'slow'

Back in the comfort of my own home, in a country where we should count our blessings daily, I reflect on the incredible journey I have been fortunate enough to experience. I am grateful that I have found a passion through my work where I am taken out of my comfort zone. Sure, I have been lucky to travel extensively in my life....but always at a comfortable level. When you are forced to be flexible, open-minded and brave, that’s when you discover who you really are.

I don’t believe in coincidences. I believe that everything or everyone you encounter on your path is there to tell you something or teach you something, often about yourself. Sometimes they hang around and sometimes they leave, never to be seen again. I have experienced this many times before. A chance meeting took three women to Laos, a country not previously on our radar. A desire to visit a UNESCO site took us to Luang Prabang. The only way to get there..a slow boat down the Mekong. We knew the scenery would be amazing but the thought of being stuck on a boat with nothing to do sounded difficult. Upon arriving at the boat our worst fears were confirmed; the boat was overbooked; people, animals and plant life were being crammed into every nook and cranny. Once again, time to be flexible, something I have become quite good at.

This boat ride, with no internet connection meant that there was lots of time; time to contemplate, meditate and slow down enough to become aware of our surroundings, including other people as well as the beauty of nature itself. At the beginning of our journey on Day 2, I pulled out my book.. The Power of Now..by Eckhart Tolle, how very fitting for this occasion. Determined to finish it, I got started but was soon stopped by a young man who asked me about it. This question struck up a conversation with him and the surrounding passengers lasting the entire time we were on the boat.

These deep and meaningful conversations (my favourite type) allowed me to discuss my perceptions and thoughts, which were either affirmed or challenged by my new friends, often leading to a realisation and change in perspective. Each of us has an important message for others and each of us has the ability to learn something new just by taking the time to listen.

By stepping out of my comfort zone, I was given the opportunity to be myself as opposed to finding myself, as I am lucky enough to have already done that in a past exercise. As women, we often succumb to the roles which define us. We are someone’s wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend. When are we really given the time to be ourselves, who we really are, without the fear of being judged or the guilt of not living up to the expectations of others? When nobody knows who you are, you can be yourself with no fear.

What did I learn about myself? I learnt that I often define myself as being conservative, as if it is a positive thing. Whilst it is not negative, I never stopped to think about how this is interpreted by another person. I was told that I am not conservative at all, that I am very open minded and flexible. It made me think that my use of the word was possibly not appropriate. I have therefore vowed not to define myself as ‘conservative’ any longer. Rather, I am a person with strong values and beliefs which I hold to be true. Those values I only impose on myself and I don’t use them in my judgement of others...but I do align myself with people who have similar values and who are on my frequency.  As a fairly sensitive person, I make choices to stay away from people who are negative or draining on my energy.

All of this has nothing to do with being conservative.

I learnt that I do not have a fear of getting old, rather I have a fear of becoming insignificant. The beauty about having these conversations on this boat, with an audience of average age under 30, was that people were actually interested in what I had to say, and were genuinely listening and engaging. Wow! Who would have ever have thought this would be the case? What they taught me was that age was no barrier and that your energy would attract the people who were of like mind. The choice to remain relevant and significant was entirely up to me and had nothing at all to do with my age.

The two days spent on this ‘slow boat’ were just what the three of us needed, each for a different reason. We each took from it exactly what we needed. It was surreal, and whilst it may sound cliche, it felt like we had been cast in a movie; as if we were an observer on the boat watching ourselves in the scene.

I am forever grateful for the events that led to us embarking on this journey. As I said, there is no such thing as a coincidence but rather a carefully orchestrated series of events on the path towards reaching your full potential as a human.

But gee, it would make a really great movie...