When Life Gives You Lemons....

My attitude to life has become one where for the most part I tend to go with the flow. Now, that probably makes me sound like a free spirit, a bit of a hippy maybe... but no, in fact, I think I’m fairly organised and disciplined. I usually have an outline of a plan; a definite direction. I know for certain where I’m going but I’m less concerned about how I get there and the process along the way. In that respect, I have complete faith that I will be guided in the right direction by circumstances which I respond to, by the way I choose to respond to them.

I truly believe that the key to living your best life is to be flexible, positive and open to opportunities. Life becomes a lot more enjoyable when you ease up on trying to manipulate or control things. When one has a tight grip on something, or a strong attachment to the outcome, the scene is set for possible disappointment. The key is to trust that the process will lead to the outcome and if it doesn’t, its because it was not right for you in the first place; life has other plans, usually better ones.

The Universe, God, or whichever higher power you believe in, will usually give you one of three answers:

1) yes

2) yes, but not now or

3) no, because I will give you something better.

It just depends on how you choose to view things.

Our current travels are a great example. We left Melbourne with a two hour delay, which meant we missed our connecting flight to Phnom Penh. We lost a night’s accommodation which we had paid for and our plans for our first day were totally ruined. By the time we landed in Singapore, Qantas staff had reorganised all of our schedule, which was helpful, but it meant a whole lot more travel and hassle. You see, there were no direct flights to Phnom Penh on the next day so we had to go via Bangkok, change airlines, and then fly to our final destination. We were accommodated at a hotel for the night but had to check in again at the airport at 5am, which meant very little sleep. At each stop, we had to pick up luggage, go through immigration and customs, only to go upstairs and check the luggage in again with a different airline.

The point of my long story is that although it was a huge hassle which took 37 hours to resolve, the way we chose to react to it made the difference. We had a choice: jump up and down, get stressed and angry and resolve nothing, or go with it and make the most of it. We chose to make lemonade out of our lemons. We didn’t discuss it... we didn’t say ‘hey, it appears we’ve been given lemons, what should we do, do you think we should make lemonade?' No, it was a natural reaction based on how we chose to view things.

This slight hiccup in travel plans turned out to be a memorable adventure. If we hadn’t been delayed, we wouldn't have met Sandra, the lovely and lively local lady who picked us up at the airport gate in Singapore and looked after us until we were safely at the hotel. We wouldn’t have met our three fellow stranded passengers, with who we bonded and traveled with the rest of the way. We wouldn’t have laughed so much, in a situation where perhaps crying would have been more understandable.

When our luggage couldn’t be found and we were tired, hungry and in need of a shower, we could have become really annoyed but instead we were joking, laughing and taking selfies with our new friends; one of whom we met up with again for a lovely dinner on our last night in Cambodia.

This is my third trip to Cambodia, and each time I am blown away by the resilience and the positive attitudes of these people. They are warm, generous, extremely welcoming, and grateful. They make you feel like you are a honoured guest in their home. They have nothing to give but they will give you what they have.

These people have definitely been given lemons; some are aware of it, some don’t know any better. They continue to be victims of the past atrocities inflicted on their people. While some wait for western relief to come, others use all their resources to make ends meet, any way they can. Some choices are not desirable and this is evident wherever you turn, but for the most part, these are good people. They work together and they make the most of life. They smile a lot, and they are generally happy.

On our travels through the provinces of Cambodia, we came across people working together for the benefit of their whole communities. One lady in particular was making a clay pot. She didn’t have a turning potter’s wheel, so she was turning her body around the stand instead. Who would have thought? I’m sure many of us would have thrown our hands up in despair at not having the appropriate equipment to carry out the job, but here she was using what she had available, which was her own body. Such a simple action, which to her was perfectly normal, left the rest of us just staring at her with our mouths almost to the floor in complete amazement.

Then there was India, a land of intrigue and colour. Much like Cambodia, India is a country of extremes; extreme riches and extreme poverty. There is not much in between, and no proper system to redistribute wealth.

We spent time with a church pastor and his family, who run a school and medical centre for the poor people in an Indian community. They also take in children from disadvantaged families and care for them. We spent time with one of the young girls living at the church. She is 13 years old and has lived at the church for the past few years. She is well cared for and has good role models to support her. She gives back to them by helping with chores, contributing to the church and helping others who live locally.

We were taken to meet the young girl's family, who live up the road. We were able to see quite quickly why she no longer lived with them. Her family were beautiful, so loving and gentle, but she had lost her father suddenly, a few years before. Her mother was left financially disadvantaged, with five children to care for. The eldest daughter had subsequently moved out and had a baby. The only problem was that the baby was now being cared for by the family while the young mother was elsewhere.

We entered the house, which consisted of a single room with a bed and kitchen area. The bathroom was outside, in full view of everyone, with no running water and to be shared with the neighbours. This is the reason that the only other female in the house had been sent to live at the church where her conditions and opportunities would be better. This mother clearly loves and is proud of her children, and is doing the best she can for them. Her eldest son is at university studying engineering and is determined to change the life of his family. Their smiles and outlook are truly heart warming.

Despite the living conditions, this house was pristine. The pride and dignity was very obvious and they willingly accepted our visit and felt honoured to have us in their home.

Whilst India is a little more developed than Cambodia, it’s still miles away, in parts, from the Western world. Some of the cities we visited were in fact so primitive that it was surreal. I have described it in some of my Insta posts as being like something out of the movies. It’s like someone had set up a scene in a Hollywood studio, hired all the extras and dressed them in lots of colour and jewels, others in rags, placed dogs, cows, goats and monkeys everywhere, and replicated buildings dating back to biblical times. But this is not a movie; this is real, and this happens every single day....

(It's sad to say, but there are some places that really shouldn’t be developed, although living conditions of the people should be improved. Where would the world be without the diversity, charm and colour of places such as these? If the world were all the same, how would we broaden our horizons and learn about something different.)

My experience, and the time I have spent with poorer people, has shown me clearly that these are the most humble, the most giving, and the most genuine. This is true at home as it is abroad. I feel very privileged to be able to spend time in the broad spectrums of life.

Whilst for me, the time is short, and I am fortunate to go back to my comfortable life, it leaves me with a lasting gift; the gift of gratitude, tolerance, understanding, and the unwaivering desire to do my part towards making life better for someone, anyone, no matter how small that difference may be.

The moral of today's story is that life is full of ups and downs, but if you are like me and live in a lucky country, then I would say that we have mostly ups. Life is what you make it and we get the opportunity to try again every single day. Sometimes life sends you a few lemons. When it does, squeeze them hard and get the most out of them you can. There is always a way to get stuff done; the way you choose to look at those lemons makes a big difference to the end result. By just accepting it for what it is, you may just find that your lemons are really a pleasant surprise in disguise.

Speaking of lemons. I’m looking forward to some freshly squeezed lemonade when I get home, to ease my upset tummy which lingers as a reminder of my time in India.

All completely worth it though....